Sex Offender

WHAT THE SHIT

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 04:21:48 GMT

FALSE ALARM

IT WORKS NOW

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 03:47:31 GMT

I BROKE MY FUCKING LAPTOP

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

a lot of these are remixes or some shit

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 03:30:31 GMT

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever music player you have on random.
Step 2: Post a line/stanza from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Bold the songs when someone guesses correctly. (No Cheating)

1.) All right nerds, geeks, hermaphrodites
I want you to put your index fingers in the air
On the count of three I want you to start right clicking

2.) I wanna pay for it, all this shit
I wanna pay for it like a god damn son of a bitch
I wanna pay for it, all this shit
I wanna pay for it like a god damn son of a BITCH

3.) I am not even sure, if I am hiding him.
Trophy or lost property ... –
did I drag him to this place,
slave to some dark desire,
or have I merely found him here
in childlike innocence and curiosity?

4) Keine Plattform für dich
Keine Luft mehr für dich
Keine Zukunft für dich
Nicht ein Tag mehr für dich
Viel zu lang schon hast du mich begleitet
Hast du mich vergiftet
Hast du dich verbreitet - Lass mich!

5.) We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend

6.) Settle settle down now
We got all our wiggles out
Now it's time to settle down
Settle settle settle down now

7.) Herz an Herz
Hörst du mich
S.O.S. Ich liebe dich
Ich und du
Immerzu
Du und ich
Herz an Herz
Tag und Nacht
Immerzu daran gedacht
Bist du auch
So verliebt Wie ich

8) Sterben!

Waidmanns, manns, manns, manns Heil

Sie spürt die Mündungsenergie
Feiner Schweiß tropft auf das Knie

9.) Death is my mentality shit is my insanity
Scraping melting pussy flesh is my speciality
Agonize the shitty colon
Appetize the penis swollen
Eat the constipiated offerings off her bleeding ring

10) You don't love me anymore
I see it in your eyes
Don't believe in your lies
Just cold as ice

11.) The basement scene is hot and sweaty
Bodies packed from wall to wall
The band are tearing through their set
The encore is the best of all
Let’s keep this party going, yo
We’ve got nowhere else to be
Someone yells, "Less talk more rock!"
Mostly unironically

12.) Doch reicht das nicht
Bescheidenheit? Alles was recht ist
Ich nehme alles, auch wenn es schlecht ist
Ich werde nie satt

13.)Make me crawl on the floor - break me
Make me scream for more - take me
You rule. I adore - use me
Use me, abuse me

14.) Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma-
Ma Baker- she taught her four sons
Ma Baker- to handle their guns
Ma Baker- she never could cry,
Ma Baker- but she knew how to die

15.) Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'

16.)Murder murder, come inside
murder murder, hold me tight

Murder murder, please return
murder murder, has to burn

17 ) Ist es das, was ich fühl
Bin ich endlich am Ziel
Ist es das, was ich will

Und mein Herz steht still

18.) P to the E to the N to the I to the S
Suck it
My Penis is famous my penis is on online
7 million views a day YAY

19.) Ich mach die Augen zu
Dann seh ich sie
Ich sperr sie ein in meine Fantasie
Ich mach die Augen zu
Sie wehrt sich nicht
Liebe ist für alle da - nicht für mich

20.)Feed the holy jaws no saying pain is the answer
after all is gone the story leaves me feeling empty
and all alone
it leaves me feeling empty

CREAM ON THE INSIDE CLEAN ON THE OUTSIDE

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 21:39:56 GMT

The WE ALL LOVE TRANSFORMERS Amazing 21 Questions Meme
Fill out the questions in a post in your journal so everyone knows how much of a nerd you are.

1 - Name every Transformers series you have watched: G1, Beast Wars, TF:A, the movies, and most of the Japanese series (the older shit, not like Unicron Trilogy or whatever)

2 - What was your favourite series? Fucking Animated, brah

3 - Have you read any of the comic series? Megatwon Origins and fuckin' Animated comics

4 - Which faction do you prefer? DECEPTICONS

5 - Which character (or characters) do you like most? There's a fuckload of characters that I like but it's 99.9% Decepticons. I always like the villians better. Always. Evil is just so much sexier, ya know?

6 - Why do you like them so much? WHY THE FUCK NOT? I have every other goddamn fetish, hell I think sometimes I really am pansexual. I'm big into beastiality and shit that ain't human, son. Robots is just another level.

7 - What is your favourite pairing? Honestly? Probably Megatron and Starscream, even if it's been done to motherfucking death. Lockdown and Prowl is a close second but Megs and Screamer will always be my favorite. And really, I give a fuck if it's popular or not. As long as I get a boner from it, it's a-okay

8 - Why do you like this pairing so much, you deviant? Motherfucker it's HOT. I just like it. Starscream's a princess bitch with a sandy vagina and depending on what series Megatron's in, he's a manly man and he don't take shit from bitchwhores like Starscream. And those two are my favorite kind of gays (don't even lie, you know they go for the dick) FUCKIN BITCH FACE AND MACHO MAN. GOD YES

9. What sort of sex do you like your robots to have? Does it fucking matter? It's porn. Fuck it doesn't matter what it is as long as it's hot to me. The minute it stops being hot in my eyes I don't like it. That's as deep as I get, nigger.

10 - Dress someone up. Who is it and what are they wearing? Shockwave in Gothic Lolita wear, lifting his skirt up to show off his pink delicious panties I fucking love his delicus womanly hips, I want to run my hands all over that shit. I bet it's like touching the back of a sting-ray.

11 - If you were a giant transforming robot, would you be a pirate or a ninja? BUT LOCKDOWN IS BOTH!!! D8

12 - What are your thoughts on Transformers reproduction? Babies don't turn me on, so I don't really care at all but if it's part of a story it pisses me off cause it cuts out story time that could be used for SEX.

13 - If Huffer and Gears threw down in a fight, who would win? My dick would bust in from the Earth and shatter their assholes with the force of a thousand stampeding Giraffe's. So I guess my cock would be the winner in the end

14 - RUMBLE IS RED OR IS THAT FRENZY IS BLUE OR RED WHAT? RUMBLE IS A DICKBAG.

15 - Do you have a folder full of Transformers porn on your computer? Japanese. And surprisingly no it's not all porn. Only a small percent is. In the end, cute is better than hot to me

16 - How many pictures does it have in it? You didn't fucking tell me I had to go look in it. Fuck you you'll never know

17 - Your thoughts on Transformers gender Needs more cock

18 - Kiss Players is the best thing to happen to Transformers. Do you agree with this statement? No but it's not becuase it weirds me out, I just think Animated is the best thing.

19 - Do you roleplay? If so, where, what, why, how? Lockdown, Blitzy, and Swindle. And I'm not telling you any more shit you motherfucker. You just keep on wondering with your bitchass.

20 - Are Transformers SERIOUS BUSINESS? -sigh- It fucking can be.....

21 - TRUKK OR MUNKY? DICKS OF COURSE.

All those bitches down at the club

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 04:20:58 GMT

You make me motherfucking sick to my stomach. Jesus christ You don't even KNOW. Shitfuck. You don't even need to do anything. It's that piece of shit love I have for you again. Goddamn. GODDAMN I WANT TO SHOUT SO LOUD

I guess I need to update.

I haven't been up to shit. Failing school, failing life, failing at love and friendship. The fucking usual. God I really know how to screwup. Please don't hold it against me

I'm a sorry bitch. Really sorry. I wonder if anyone can tell I'm unhappy. Not that I wouldn't blame them for not noticing. Since I hide my real emotions and all. So much that I don't even know what I'm really feeling at all most of the time. Nobody cares what I feel though, I'm not something that ever mattered anyways so why should I care that they don't care.

FFuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

I still feel really lonely.What the hell. What the hell. I hate crying. I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it like I hate you.

will you hold it against me?
will you hate me for it?
will you cherish these moments?
will you come to terms with me?
will you ever fucking GET OUT OF MY MIND

Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
I love you
I love you

Would you like a present too?

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SickSickSick of you

I have no respect

Mon, 25 May 2009 07:02:15 GMT

Nyeheheeh you guys are gonna kill me for this.

Type your cut contents here.

Fuck me.

Mon, 25 May 2009 01:41:50 GMT

Shit.

Yesterday was the last episode of TF:A. I'm so upset about it....the ending was shitty too...ugh. Way to kill off two of my favorite characters you dicks. I'm just upset it's ending at all. This blows. Thanks a lot Hasbro and CN. You guys suck.

At least I can still buy the toys and the merchandise that comes out of it. Hopefully something good will happen out of all this. Ah man...I'm gonna miss you TF:A! Baaaww! You were my favorite tv show ; ;

gay shit

Tue, 12 May 2009 23:45:06 GMT

Meme
The first TEN people to comment in this post get to request a drabble (+ doodle in my journal) of any pairing/character of their choosing from me. In return, they have to post this in their journal, regardless of their ability level. If you absolutely can't write, I don't see why you wouldn't be able to offer drawings or icons or something instead. Last bit ain't mandatory.

and everybody lost the fight that everybody wanted.

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 06:16:17 GMT

I don't understand why things have to end. Good things. Really good things. Does everything have to stop? It's not right. I wish I knew some way to fix it...Sometimes I think people just want things to go wrong. They want things to happen so they have excitement in their lives..but in doing so they never consider the other person. They always forget we're affected too..And then in the end I'm the one who messes things up. I don't want to hurt my friends...I don't want to hurt those I care most about.....and yet I always do....

People just forget who I am sometimes. I won't leave you until you leave me. There's no way I'd stop loving my friends (my true friends). Even if...they ever stop loving me. Some people never deserved my love or affection but they got it....and they get it.........what is it though...what is it I care for? You're awful...you don't care about me.......you talk to me......but you don't care about me....I want you to care about me so badly. But that's never gonna happen. It's okay....that's what you're known for, your dismissive, cold personality.

One day you'll care. One day I won't have to worry about losing you. God damn you. Fuck you. This...wasn't supposed to happen....I wasn't supposed to care so much about you. Ever. Not even a tiny bit....

You know what they say, we want what we can't have. Snowballs chance in hell I'd ever have you.

I have the bad habit of falling into love triangles...and so far I've only fallen into two....with the same motherfucking person involved....I'm not sure.......I'm not sure at all if I LOVE her. Maybe it's just a hunch......or a strange sort of....admiration....adoration...worship if you want to get 'canon' about it..heh..

Lucky for me the girl she's with who is also the girl I still like doesn't read these posts and if she does I'm fucked. Haha.....

I think its a combination of envy, jealousy, and misguided obsession. I don't even really...'care' that much for her, but the thought of losing her or...........well......it's a possessive lust is what it is. Not like she'll ever know. Nobody knows. It's actually a well kept secret of mine.........and now it's not but nobody will ever look here, so nobody will ev~er~ know~

I bet these bitches think I'm shallow and 'fall in love' with the first thing I lay my eyes on...what they don't understand is that......being who I am....I..fall in love with friends.....crushes...and if they actually sit down...have real conversations..can stir emotions...you know...everything that my IRL friends can't do....well....you see where I'm going.

I just.....I'm not treated right by them you could say. I have nobody to talk to IRL....I am on my own..completely. Nobody can comfort me like they can..even if it's a cheap laugh......really......it's so fucked up. Beyond belief. I can't understand it. But....they're the only ones who treat me nicely...if you can call it 'nice'...they tell me they care for me and that they love me.....it's the first time anyone has ever done that for me. I'm such a lonely bastard. I live in such a fucked up place.

A person who's voice I've never even fucking heard has more of an effect on me than my friend who I've known since kindergarten does. That is so fucking messed up. I'm so fucking messed up. My FEELINGS are so messed up.

I'm destined to lust after what I can't have......dare to look....but don't dare to touch.....

Christ. And then there's her......I dont' know what it is about her......sometimes I feel I couldn't care less and othertimes I find myself thinking of only her for an entire day...buying things and eating things because they remind me of her....That's another problem.........things based on other people.

I will never enjoy ~~Moulin Rogue~~ because of a certain Italian. Everytime I hear it out of Jake's car I fight not to cry on the spot. My emotions control me still. Even after all that time in therapy and countless trips to the psychologist I still let a cluster of cells do the talking. Fuck me, I'm stupid.

Do I just need to grow up? Do I just need a reality check? I don't understand friendship too well...but I value it like it's the most precious thing you could ever ask for...I just want someone to care for....to be happy for...to laugh with...talk to...is that really so much to ask? Is a friend really so hard to keep?

I hate myself. I'll always hate myself.

I will never stay happy....I will always cry. It's never gonna go away. It's never gonna leave me alone. Why can't they leave me alone? Why can't I live? Fate wants me to be unhappy. This much I know.

I'm in love with hopelessness in human form.
I'm in love with Captain Naive.
I'm ~~crushing~~ on Mega'I don't even know you exist'Tron

It's not a triangle its a fucking square.
A square............a train wreck more like.

I can't have any of them......nope. Never...nevernevernever.
She'll never know I love her like that..........
She'll never love me back......
She'll never look my way or give me the time of day like I want. All I want is some attention from her...all I want....is....................just...show me you care about me......ME.

And yet.......in some strange twist of fate.....two of them...if they part...I feel....I feel I'd be crushed moreso....love ruined is always something so disgusting you just have to turn your head and look the other way before it looks at you.

I just...want to sit on the side...with my quiet little observer and watch the sparks fly, longing for something I'll never have......and maybe kiss her.

I wish I could tell my friends how I feel....IRL friends...

When I go to school they see a totally differnet person. I am immovable to them. Nothing can hit me and I seem like I can take on the world to them, and maybe I'm just a little unhinged to them...hyperactive too...

Couldn't be farther from the truth. Everything hurts. Just everything......I don't...I don't like boys like they do. I don't even really like MEN for that matter..I view them purely as sexual objects. A girl I can love, a handsome older man I can fuck till the sun comes up.

It just isn't right. They've known me for 10 years and these people online I've known not even for a year yet. And here I am....wanting to give them everything under the sun just so they'll look at me and wave...be happy to see me...light up when I'm around.....care for me like nobody else ever has before because I don't have normal friends. I don't have anybody to trust...I wish I did.....but they only exist on a screen and through little letters....that's why they get a scrapbook. Because I never want to forget these times when I felt truly...I wouldn't say normal....
More like...whole. I feel whole with them.......it's good. It feels good to feel alive now.

I wish I was rich......I want to see them all....I want to touch and hug them...experience what a true friendship FEELS like........this disjointed mess I call friendship in my real life simply makes me feel sick.......

I just...I want to die.

Let me live.

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 19:03:06 GMT

.....................................................................................................................................................................................................
You know what I think?
I think love is a poison to the heart and soul as well as the mind. It is unstoppable, there's nothing you can do once it hits you and only the inevitable end will take it away.
Broken hearts can be mended but not fixed, there's no cure for that. It's a crevice that goes too deep for our simple understanding.

I may say a lot and at the same time have nothing to say, but...I believe in them. If she can be happy without me, then so be it. If they can be happy without me there then I have no one to blame but myself.

My heart is broken because the love is true.

I say to myself everyday that it isn't, but my heart wouldn't mistakenly do this to me if it weren't for that one little detail; That they do love eachother, and I am just hurt by it because that's not me.

What have I done to deserve it though? I do as I wish and destroy who I please, simply for amusement at times it would seem.

But still
I will cry for you
I will hurt for you
I will laugh for you
and eventually, very soon perhaps, I will die for you.

I can't, won't, and will not regret these things.

When the time comes, you have someone to hold you should you mourn my death.

Don't wait for me, please, I'm going to go somewhere that nobody can find. Love doesn't exist there, and it is wonderful. Time and space don't matter there. Who I am.....who I was....will never have mattered at all there. It will simply be me.
I can rid myself of this curse, I can save myself, I still have time! I still have time!

Everyone says suicide is just an excuse to quit because you're too much of a failure to pick yourself back up......
But what of those who can feel love, really feel it, the hopeless romantics, the loving friends, the infatuated ones?

Do we not have a place to stand? How much of it matters to you?

I'm not sure what it is with you. I never was and never will be.
I saw your heart before I saw your face.
I heard your cries before I heard your voice.
This is the easiest way to get close to a person. So very different, and it works. It just works. I can be loved here without fear of eyes on me. I can love here without judging. I can freely be kind and at the same time, freely be cruel.

I'm collecting these moments in a jar.
When I die, I'd like someone to break it. Let it flow into the world and back into the people, they will know. They must know.

That settles it.

I will rid myself of this wretched place before you ever have a chance to touch me, hold me, make me crave life. You might just do it, you might just bring out that beast Happiness inside of me.
Please, I'm too far gone. I've let the darkness consume me. Don't take it away from me....don't let your simple smile, hug, or reassuring pat on the back take away what i have worked so hard to gain.
Get away from me. Get away from me.

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 10:54:58 GMT

Because

Because I believe everyone around me hates me, in one way or another I must choose death.
Because I am nothing to you all I must do this.
Because I never was what I was expected to be I must take the final course of action.

You

You never really cared. You never really listened when I needed you to listen. You only cared about what mattered most to you....and that was you and your problems.
You had your chance to stop it. You had your chance to do something about it. You had your chance to make a difference.
You did nothing at all. For better or for worse.
You did nothing. And that is why it happens to you. That it is why you must suffer in my place. In the current state I'm only human. In the current state I'm only what I say I am. In the current state I'm in I'm only a memory. A memory best long, long forgotten.

Saying sorry does nothing. Apologies are just weak compensations for the bigger problem. It's just words. Action must be taken to change anything. I understand this is a hard thing to do, considering the current state we are all in, but you could have tried. You could have at the very least, if nothing else, tried. And you never tried.
In the end, it didn't matter anyways because life is just not fair.

In the end it was you who killed me.
Not me.
You might as well have been then one to do it. You might as well have taken my last breath and ran with it, laughing the whole way.

Days

I hate living. I hate having to open my eyes and look at everything. Everything is what I hate. I hate everything because everything hates me.
It's a vicious, disgusting, never-ending cycle. It will never end. Not for me.
I spend my days wandering about, wondering why I was cursed to be on this wretched planet. I just don't understand it. Any of it.
I can't open my mouth without being laughed at. I can't have a voice. I'm not allowed to.
Nothing I say is of importance to anyone. I am nothingness to all. If I am there it is simply acknowledged that another entity is there, but it does not matter to anyone. Nor does it change things.
You

Give me that false sense of security. You are the dangerous one. You are a friend and an enemy. Friend's with my enemies is what you are. What a fool I've been to stay. What a fool I've been to care for you all this time.
I felt no heat when we were close, but I wanted to. It's that sort of caring that I have for everyone else. Untouched and unmoving. Unimportant is what it is.
However there is a sense of caring to the point where I want you for myself. I don't care about your outside life, your other friends...namely the friends that are my enemies. Why? Why do you do this? Why must fate be so cruel?
Why must I be so sensitive? I should not care so much for petty words, petty things like arguments. Off color comments that shouldn't matter at all become everything to me. I obsess over them.
Obsession is not something that merely passes with me, I will obsess over it until the day I die or until said obsession 'dies'.
Hate you

I hate you. I hate you so much you will never be able to even fathom the amount of boiling emotions inside of me.
What am I to you?
What am I truly? Am I a friend?
A crutch to hold onto when you're feeling down?
Something that entertains you? Am I anything other than something you use to pass the time?
What is it?
Or is it something more? Am I a plaything? Is that it? Is it funny to watch me squirm?

You confuse me. You will always confuse me. I will never be able to understand your logic nor your reasoning. Why do you do this to me? I don't understand it.
I have never felt anything so horrible.
Such a stabbing, nasty, prickly feeling love is.
It makes me sick to my stomach to think about you. It makes me want to curl up and die when I think about you.
It makes me cry when I think about you.
Every time.
You hurt me so badly. That is all you ever do to me is hurt me.With every word out of your mouth I feel lower and lower. With every action you take the more I weep. I cry harder than I ever have in my entire life because of you. Each time it lasts longer and is worse.
Why can't you love me? Why can't you care for me? Why can't you see what I'm feeling? Feel what I'm feeling? Get the hint?
Or....maybe you just...don't want to understand me. Maybe you never cared for me at all.

I love you so much...and yet....here I am. Treated as if I am nothing. I feel cheated out of something that I never rightly deserved. You.
If there is fire, I tell you.
You don't listen.
If there is fire, they tell you.
You listen.
Why? I care the most. I CARE the most. I will always care the most. I love you, I can't live without you. I can' t live without your abusive, absurd, silly little fancies.I want to leave you behind so badly. It's like a drug addiction. You're the thing killing me, and I know it, but I just can't put you down. I can't. It's physically impossible for me. My mind won't let my body do it. I can't let you go.

At the very least, I want to feel whole again. At the very least I want you to care again. I want those feelings back. You took them away and buried them in lies, pain, and your own skewed portrayal of what you think life is.
Never in my life did I think things would turn out this way. Never in my life did I consider something so harmless as a game to escalate into true love.

And here I stand. Shouting out and proclaiming to the world that I hate you. And there it sits, my heart shouting out I love you.
Power struggle.
Power struggle.
Power struggle.
Power struggle.
Power struggle.

Signs

I never think anything is a true sign unless it right out causes something to happen the next day.
But not in this case. In my case I thought perhaps some things didn't matter.
Perhaps it was the awakening of certain souls that lived inside that were a forewarning. Or the impending doom falling in and around us in the false realities we called games. No, I never took the hint when I knew it was you all along.
Because I didn't want to believe it. I was scared of the truth and let things get out of hand.

I feel it is all my fault. Where we are today is my doing.
Maybe it is...maybe it isn't.
But I will never let myself live it down. I let go of one of the most precious things a human being can possess. Friendship.

I will never have that true grasp. I will never be able to feel it's warm embrace, always left out in the cold.
Waiting.
Waiting.

And then it happens again.
Signs. More and more of them.

Intermission November 9th, 2007

Such as today.
Today, exactly one year ago someone spoke to me. And made me feel loved.
Now, exactly one year later, I cry because I ended the relationship with them in such a brutal, and stupid manner.
I'm sorry Toten.
I'm sorry I did that to you. I wish you could forgive me. Even if our friendship was short lived it still left a lasting impact on my heart. I will always be there caring for you. Never forget that. Even if I can never communicate with you or Emily ever again please...feel the emotion. Feel it somehow someway. Even if I'm just a tiny, dark memory floating in your heads let it be known. Let it be known that on this day I was loved by you. Not yet Emily. Her time was later...but it was because of you that I met her. I thank you for that. For a time I felt loved and you did the job right.
I'll never forget you.
You'll never forgive me.
Oh how cruel the world is to me. Somewhere you are out there, somewhere you are living.
I think about you. I loved you like no other. I felt so connected with you. It wasn't even that long that I knew you. I just knew you.
I ended it and I still suffer from it. Let me call it now.
On this day I shed tears for you. And only you.

11/9/07 is sketched into my flesh. May it burn now and forever.

End Intermission

Signs cont.

Everything reminds me of you.
The sunset. Birds. A warm hug.
You have invaded it like a parasite.

I remember...I remember that day I was on a plane.
I saw the clouds, spread out in the sky like some rolling forest of white, pastel colored cotton.
I couldn't help but think of you. I couldn't help the tears that inevitably came along with the thought.
I cried until the sun went down. Soon I was staring, eyes full of tears, at the landscape of my home. The city lights glimmered and twinkled beautifully. But the pain wasn't eased. I felt as if the crushing pressure of my melancholy would suffocate me.

I thought to myself that I would just die from it. That eventually I would stop breathing. Then I caught something out of the corner of my eye.
Fireworks. Someone was shooting them off in the city.
Watching fireworks from such an angle was an amazing experience for me....and for some reason, it made me feel hope. But instead of drying my tears I cried harder. My heart literally wrenched itself inside my chest and I held on until I could no longer see the them.
It was the pain of loving you that I felt.
That will always stick out in my mind and I promise to never forget it until the day I die.

It was a defining moment for me. For you.

You did that to me.

I have to save this

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 23:01:48 GMT

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

over 9000) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms, just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

ololololol
In other news I'm in a shitty mood. That's all for today, kids.

I'M GROUNDED

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 05:35:36 GMT

BUT I'M BEING A BAD GIRL AND CHEATIN' MAH WAY OUT.
OHOHOHOHOHO~

Tehee <3

HOLY SHIT I HAVE TO PISS SO BAD.
I have a Kigurumi now <3 I should join the Kigurumin community on LJ. I'd post pics but um...I dunno how to get it off my cell phone.

AH' BREAK IT DOOOOWN

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:02:34 GMT

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: Very High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: Very High
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html

WELL FUCK YOU TOO PERSONALITY DISORDER TEST.

its over your head

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 05:15:03 GMT

I feel like shit

I felt okay a little while ago....I think it's the euphoria of having someone around me again who really seems to care about me and seems like a generally good role model and human being in my eyes leaving me. I never thought I cared so much for my friends. I try and stay detached because of past problems but now I see how much I care.
I don't want to care. I don't deserve to have their thoughts, words, or actions. I'm shit just like everyone else I despise. I'm such a terrible person. I am really the worst person in the whole world. Why can I have fun but others can't? I should just shutup forever.

The whole world is alive right now, and it's not stopping for me just because I can't deal. I know other people are out there. Just like me. They look good, they felt good, they're with those who are supposed to make them feel good. But they don't. Because there is something wrong with them. There is something wrong in their heads.
You want to get help. You want to be saved. You reach out like a baby bird to it's mother wanting some sort of satisfaction...something to sate the need. The hunger.
And you are abandoned. You don't matter to them. You never mattered. Until that moment comes that you need help, your friends won't back you up.

And if they do, they will become just as insane as you.

That is the consequence of your kindness. That is what you get for helping someone who desperately needs help. That is God. And he hates you. He hates me. He hates us all and he wants us to suffer. I have no faith in anything anymore. I want to believe though. I want to care about something. I want to feel loved. I want to wake up with a real smile on my face and love the day. I don't want to really die, I don't really want to give it all up. All I want is help. An escape.

Nobody wants to help me though. They all push me away. They can't be bothered. Why won't anybody help me?
I wish I could help people. I wish I could take all their pain away and see them smile. I want to cry for others. I can't do that though...because then I'll care more than I should. And caring means throwing another piece of myself away and hating myself even more.

I'm too stupid and useless though. Nothing about me is interesting or inspiring. I only inspire more hate if anything. I feel sick typing this.

I'm cursed you know.
I'm my own best friend and my own worst enemy. This will reign over me forever and ever. Until the end of time.

I can't love myself without hating myself too.

I have things. I have so many things. I don't need these things. I should burn everything I own and myself along with it. I have no soul. It is only a disjointed mishmash of feelings and coherent thoughts.

But whoever has the time to look at this, and maybe think about it for a moment...I love you. In all the time I'll ever spend alive I'll never feel as good as I will when I think that for maybe just one shining moment someone really gives a shit about me. Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for you for caring. Your care will end you as it has me. I'm just going down the hole now. A spiral really. A black spiral that will never end. It goes on and on forever. I'll see you all in Hell.

FUUUCK MY ASSHOLE HURTS CAUSE I SAT ON A CUCUMBER

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 06:59:54 GMT

FUCKING SHITWAFFLES
I god damn start school next week :\ Piss.

I'm gonna see TDK again in IMAX this week with my friend. This'll be my 4th time and her 3rd time. I know, we're fucking awesome. I gotta tee tee...but I'm too lazy to get up. Bee is talking to me about masturbation techniques....this is...odd. ಠ_ಠ

Meme

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 22:57:20 GMT

YOU'VE GOT...TEN TITS...AND A CUNT FULL OF TEETH. ~~gaow.~~

MANGINA.MANGINA.MANGINA.MANGINA.MANGINA.MANGINA.MANGINA.

One True Pairing Ship: Starscream/Megatron

Canon Ship: Blitzwing/Sassy Crane

"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship: fucking look at Rubicon with all the Autobot pairings. That shit is just a trainwreck.

"You are one sick bastard" Ship: Heh, Megatron/Sumdac all the way baby.

"I dabble a little" Ship: Megatron/Optimus

"It's like a car crash" Ship: Humans with Transformers. Just why? ~~EXCEPT SUM/MEGS.~~

"Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet" Ship: Soundwave/Megatron

"Makes no canon sense but why the hell not" Ship: Swindle/Starscream

"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship: Prowl/Jazz, Optimus/Bumblebee, Blitzwing/Blackarachnia....ANY FEMME PAIRINGS REALLY.

"When all is said and done" Ship: ANYONE/ANYONE AS LONG AS THAT SHIT IS HOT.

Messiah

Fri, 30 May 2008 04:13:37 GMT

I don't know how many times I have to say it.
but I'll say it again.

God fucking dammit. What is the point of being here, having a journal, and posting it when literally nobody looks at it?

You know what? Fuck you. You sitting at your desk. Fuck you. I'll say it again FUCK YOU

It's because I'm a bad person isn't it? It's because I'm stupid isn't it? It's because I'm a FAILURE AS A HUMAN. What if I really killed myself? How would you feel about that? Guilty? Apathetic? Mad? Sad?

Nothing.

Because I don't exist. I'm a ghost of my former self.

I wish you would die.

Mon, 26 May 2008 03:12:01 GMT

BITCHES.
ugh, my head feels like shit. I feel like shit today.
Thought I had a kidney infection but really it was just nothing. God dammit, i wish I was dead though. My mom takes every fucking opportunity she gets to call me a fat fucking ass. I swear to god. The kicker this time is that I DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING DO ANYTHING. I WAS JUST THERE IN HER PRESENCE. I cried for like 5 hours in public and people stared at me. When they stared I cried harder and they pretty much got scared and fucked off. Don't have time for so much bullshit. God.

pain

Sat, 24 May 2008 06:50:16 GMT

maybe you're lazy or stupid, I really dont' care.
I often wonder about sick minds. Seperately, our own minds are sick. Combined, we are a masterpiece. I am numb to the feelings, but I can think so therefore I can feel? Wrong. I dont' feel but I think. Understand?
ah, scat porn. How interesting. One gets the feeling of supreme arousal from such things, I feel nothing but my thoughts turn dark and often explict.

Human children become fascinated with the anus around age 3. I wonder if this is something the girl has yet to get over? Hmm, I'm not sure.

ew, fungus inside of you. that's enough to make me squirm.............................................................................................

--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Maaaaaaan, today was the best day ever. In every fucking class SOMEONE had the transformers dvd and MAN I WATCHED TRANSFORMERS ALLLL DAAAAAAY X]

Sun, 18 May 2008 00:43:09 GMT

i know what you're thinking and i know what i'm thinking

there is nothing wrong with me. fuck you. fuck you all. Why do I suffer? Why does everyone hate me? Do I ever get salvation? Do I ever get a moments peace? Is there really enough out there for me? Why? Why continue on? Why do i DO this to myself? What's relevant? What's real anymore

A question to ask yourselves, is why do you exist? You make me sick. You, sitting there reading this. You make me sick. I fucking hate you. You're on my friends list, but I hate you. I really hate you. I hope you die right now. I wish you had cancer. i'll watch you rot.
DIEDIEDIEIDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE~~DIE~~

LOOK AT MY SMILING FACE. SEE ME SMILING FOR YOU? DISGUSTING CREATURE. GO GET FUCKED. GO GET FUCKED IN THE NAME OF YOUR LUCIFER, YOUR DARK GOD, YOUR DEAD ROTTING LEADERS.

Mein Kampfy ASSHOLE.

Sat, 10 May 2008 00:44:31 GMT

BITCHES.
DIRTY DRY CUNTBAGS !!!
I'LL SUCK YOUR SHITHOLE FOR 10 BUCKS AND A SANDWICH. I MEAN IT.

anyways....HAI GUIZ.

This week has been good AND bad. I fucking tried on a math test, I mean I studied and everything. I fucking made an 82. You know how HAPPY I WAS? I haven't even PASSED A TEST THIS SCHOOL YEAR! FUCK YES!!!
and then my friend took me to MOTHERFUCKIN ARBY'S FOR DINNER. HE'S THE BEST EVER <3 and he paid too~

Aside from all that general win, some LOLZ naturally occured this week as well.

THE DAY WAS THURSDAY. THE PLACE, THE LUNCHROOM. TIME, 1 IN THE AFTERNOON.

I was just sittin there being my usual self and then someone goes OOOH JUSTIN!!! *a nigger, obviously.* I turn my ass around and WHAT DO I SEE?

STEPHEN SWITZER. the bane of my fucking existance. GETTING. HIS.ASS.KICKED. It really was the most hilarious thing ever. HE IS SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

anyways.....that's not all. Today at lunch I WAS FUCKING ATTACKED BY THIS SPIDER OH MY GOD IT SCARED ME T_T

seriously, that bitch was coming right at me like BITCH IMA FUCK YOU UP IMA FUCK YOU UP IMA FUCK YOU UP SO BAD YO MAMA WILL BE LIKE HEY WHY YOU FUCKED UP SO BAD?

anyways yeah, I screamed like a scared little shit and everyone stared. Then I almost cried XD

they see me trollin...

Fri, 02 May 2008 00:22:05 GMT

Here I am, all alone once more. I've been 'left alone' for the past couple of days...can't tell you how long it'll be till they get back. I dunno....I'm just a little frightened....and hurt....I'm hurt so bad, people just don't know. I can't fucking say it outloud though, it's something that can't be truly talked about.
I'm okay right now though. I talked to Ares the other day. It was wonderful.
He talked me out of suicide.

annnnnnnd that's all I have to say about that.
SO onward to internets!
I RECOMMEND EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS http://tyodai.blog47.fc2.com/blog-entry-179.html

NOW.

I lol'd heartily.

Green Shit

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 23:20:01 GMT

Hay, I haven't been updating around here for a while. Thought I should today. So it's raining hard today, downpour, thunder, lightning, the works! I WENT TO THE MOTHERFUCKIN ZOO SATURDAY! I saw cute anteaters and a baby kangaroo (joey). I wanted to rape it to death :3
My wish was fucking granted this morning as Canada finally uploaded the new TF:A episode. I shit my pants and oh lord it was great! Starscream dying over and over just floored me. He is so fucking moe. I can't staaaand it. AND HOLY SHIT I HAD A FANGASM WHEN MEGATRON CRIED

"STARSCREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!"

My mom is being awesome and getting me some food and a lot of the food joints that she's been to have the power off so she's going all over just for me :P Haaha, I'm such a spoiled fuckin cunt.

As of 'recent happenings' I suppose I should let you all know that I acknowledge them. So don't even try to talk to me about it.

But they need names. Everyone's gotta have a name. Even split personalites.

She's letting us name ourselves. How quaint.
I choose the name Tonya, because I fucking said so. You may also call me Hellgrau

I am going to name myself Mora.

I am Pourpre.

Rood suits me, I guess.

More will obviously be coming, but for now we're going back to 'sleep'.

jhghjnm

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 21:26:50 GMT

hey niggers.

whats up? not typin a lot. can't wait for the new tf:a episode.
so i paralyzed my arm today.

i really want to die right now. this shit's not cool at all. i have to hold it up to even type and it really, really hurts to even do that. fucking hell

i think this is my punishment. i feel like i deserve this.